Hello kinksters! Here my story…

Kinky London: KlubSpankz
July 17, 2018
Reading time: 4 minutes

Now I quite laugh when I remember the first “kinky” thing of my life, it was my grandmother telling me an invented story when I was 9 about a girl that in her way to school, would be approached by a man inside his car offering candies, then that man would kidnap the girl and tie her on a chair and put a gag to stop her from crying. Despite the story intended to be a scary one and made to prevent me from going into strangers cars, indeed caused me a double reaction, as I was fearing the situation of course, but at the same time made me sort of feel a strange kick while visualising me tied and gagged, an “uncomfortable” feeling that I couldn’t understand at that time.

It was in summer 1992 at the age of 13 when I really discovered my kinky side abruptly. I was home alone, and feeling some tension in my trousers, so in the privacy of my bedroom I took off my pants and realised that there was some new kind of pleasure from the tension that my cock was doing below. Pulling the balls a bit and grabbing them was increasing that feeling, so I picked a leather belt and made some tight loops around my cock and balls… until suddenly I cum. It was my first wank, and that first masturbation was with a leather belt making a cock and ball harness. My first leather cockring.

While my family was working and I was home enjoying the summer break, I discovered many ways of enjoying again that feeling, which for some reason would be increased by the smell of the rubber of a scuba kit and the smell of leather belts. It was a time of no Internet, but I found also that among some not-hidden-anymore porn at home, the very few pictures of tattooed guys in leather and a 2-page special about San Francisco gay BDSM scene were causing me an arousal that I couldn’t get from the vanilla pictures. I then realised that the attraction of motards, big hairy guys with their tattoos and leather outfit and big custom bikes, was a real turn on.

So I was scared for being a pervert, not just one of those faggots that my family would refer, but also those that would like to be spanked and tied. And fearing that anyone would know, I buried all that in a hidden “box” in my mind… despite constantly going for more new plays using objects that I could find around to increase the pleasure of a wank, in guilt.

I was 20 when I went out of the closet, and I was 21 when I moved out of family home with my first and only boyfriend (now my long-time beloved husband) to live together, and my life started in that moment. He was the one opening one night what we now call tenderly the Pandora box, as he started playing hard with my nipples and told me to stand a bit that slight pain, because the pleasure was much better after. Besides a very nice orgasm that I still remember today, just made from nipple play, I started bringing up all those things I had hidden.

After months of talk and play and discovery, we found out that I was definitely into BDSM, I was a slave and willing to meet trustful Masters with experience that would help me explore the intense pleasures and connections that BDSM brings. As my husband is vanilla, we started developing our open relationship, in the sense that I could explore that side out of our relationship. We have grown as a kink-discordant marriage, keeping always a clear communication, and with sincerity and trust as base of the relationship.

After enjoying and developing with a pair of masters in Barcelona, 2005 was the year when for the first time I visited a Master abroad, in Berlin. This amazing and never-forgotten story was the first great one of my quest of looking for those experienced ones that truly were Sirs, and also for my love and passion for Berlin, the most liberal city in Europe in my opinion, the only one were I feel like one more regardless of my piercings, tattoos and outfit. I’ve been visiting Berlin every year since then, every kinksters should visit Berlin if possible, it’s paradise I promise.

I’m happy with the life and experiences I have had so far. I have met great people in this journey of exploration, learned tips to stay safe and to find those that I knew that would take care also of me and themselves during a session, people that would see BDSM as a discovery of the pleasures that kicks from the power-exchange, pain and a well-driven subzone trip.

Right now I’m enjoying the Dom side now-and-then, being the pilot of a flight of pleasure, with its take-off, the high altitude play, and the landing. I never do the others what I haven’t tried first on me, so I can anticipate reactions, and touch the right places to make a sub discover new sensations. I guess one of my missions in this life is making people a bit more “perverted”, a bit more kinky and open to exploring the pleasures of the own body, without fear and guilt.

There are things that I cannot learn myself on my own however, so now in the year of my 40th birthday, I’m planning to start assisting to bondage workshops, and also looking forward to sessions being a second master to improve some skills and learn shibari and suspension, as my knowledge on the topic is very basic still.

Still, I need to sub often, I need to give the control to someone that I trust and that keeps the lead, that knows how to keep it even when I put him to the test being a bit of brat. For some reason, this brings some sort of therapeutic balance in my mind, a counterweight to the real world where I feel I need to be on charge of so many things. And anyway, it’s a great therapy that I want to keep enjoying, hopefully, for many years.

So this is the beginning of my story, a long journey that I want to share here. Probably not much different from many other stories there, but I want to add my bit in sharing my experiences and what I have learned so far, hoping that anything here might help another kinkster like you that has read until here, help try new things and explore new sensations in a safer way.

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