Kinky London: the bondage and spank workshop

Kinky London: party preparations
July 20, 2018
Using ‘Sir’ or not using ‘Sir’…
October 2, 2018
Reading time: 4 minutes

I woke up on Saturday around 10h. The rubber party at Fire had been a nice one, with some play and meeting some guys I had been chatting through Recon for long time, and some unexpected good fun with a gorgeous guy from the States that was quite unexpected. Also unexpected was that moment in which I ended helping a guy that fainted, but those things can happen, and at the end these are the occasions when you really see how a good friend and caring person looks like. Well, that Italian guy really looked hot and piggy, and even though he left the party to bring his friend safely to home. A real fine man.

Anyway, as said, what made me decide of doing this trip to London was to attend the bondage and flogging workshop organized by Sirs Dart, Bart and Zack. It was going to be the first time I would attend such type of ‘training’, and I was excited with the idea of learning from talented Doms from their experiences, tips and suggestions. I always have found some aura of mysticism and secret surrounding rope bondage, and still not easy to learn as a sub about the knots when you are not seeing what happens at your back or you are just blindfolded, lost in the headspace and the sensations from your skin and senses.

This workshop had the purpose of showing how knowing well a few simple knots leads into a great rope scene. Intricate shibari is an art and visually very exciting, however in sex play where you need to keep the engine running and the sexual arousal can disappear if not maintained well, it’s more effective for the scene to keep it simple and quick rather than trying to make something complex that takes long time to be made… and long time to untie.

One of my epic fails in bondage as rigger, due to my inexperience, was once trying to tie a guy that wanted to try ropes for the first time, so I fell into the error of starting with something elaborate, the karada body harness, that I would then use to fix him on a chair. By the time I had finished that part, he was bored and had lost the interest.

I didn’t manage well keeping him excited, neither I had been effective in understanding the expectations, and by the time I realized of all this, he was bored and unresponsive to the ropes, I became nervous and started making more mistakes when trying to speed-up. I was thinking a lot of that experience when Sir Dart was explaining about the ‘arousal window’ and how important is not to focus just on the rope work but the whole experience with the sub. I could relate well that experience with the tip that a sub doesn’t care about a pattern being 100% symmetric at play, but about having a good time and being kept excited.

Besides the observations and tips regarding risk and security and considering the ‘arousal window’, the workshop was focused on all the possibilities of the single column tie and its rope bite, with some ideas to make a simple rope straitjacket, a sort of ‘portable sling’, to be restrained into any element of the play area, or how it can help with the spread eagle position. At the end of this part, the icing on the cake came with how to make a rope horse bite, which I tried doing as soon as I arrived later to my hotel room not to forget how to do it.

The second half was the flogging part – a class in format, with tips and considerations to build a private scene or a public one at a club, with aspects like temperature, light, space, and communication with the sub to gain trust, including clear question about any health conditions that should be mentioned before starting the scene. There was a good exposure of the different characteristics of floggers based on size, length and material, with interesting tips that I never thought about like that rubber tail flogger might be too harsh for bearish guys with lots of hair when they are sweaty, which in some cases might be desired but that should be considered.

Together with the lessons learned, I also ended adding in my wishlist the incredible electric flogger from House of Markus, which I could feel well on my back and that I hope to have some day in my personal collection. Flogging combined with the electric sparks made the experience rise in intensity, increasing the sensibility while adding a sharp mild pain that made my cock turn my undies in a whole precum mess.

After the whole workshop I couldn’t be happier of having done this trip. Books and Youtube videos provide great background for good learning, but in a workshop you don’t have the pressure of a real session where there are expectations and you don’t have usually the chance to practice and make mistakes. I found this session great as I could practice and make mistakes in a relaxed atmosphere without pressure as everyone was learning at his pace, while enjoying as well from the creativity of the other guys… and getting new ideas. I compare the whole experience with gatherings happening in some martial arts – everyone learns from the others while the Sempais and Sensei are available for questions, corrections, and new ideas. And of course, you meet guys in the same wavelength.

And this whole learning experience cannot be yet replaced by a book or a video. And now I’m not feeling intimidated anymore with the idea of attending those long-desired bondage weekends like the ones in Berlin’s Quälgeist.

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