Switching: being a Master and a slave

Reading time: 7 minutes

My slave is excited and a bit scared as well. In a few weeks my Master is coming to town, and I will be a devoted slave to my Master, and at the same time the Master of my slave.

Are you already seeing the challenges that can come, and the different tortuous scenes that might develop during those days? What happens when your Sir is a switch? What if as slave, the Master of your Sir commands you to use your Sir as furniture? Would it be fair to get retaliation after? What are the dynamics when switches are around?

Just for the record, a switch is someone that sometimes takes the side of Dom and sometimes takes the side of sub. There are people that feel the pleasure and excitement from just one side, not feeling any arousal kicked from the other one. Sometimes however, it can happen that suddenly you discover that you get both aroused by both sides of the leash.

I started as a sub/slave. Differently from what seems to be the norm according to this debatable study, in my case the sub side gives me relief, like a counterweight – I’m very much into organizing, planning and meeting deadlines. I’m a controller, and very detail oriented one. Giving now and then the control to a trusted Master became my outlet, my liberation, a moment in which I could just focus on the moment and disconnect from responsibilities, from worries and life emergencies. Diving into my sub side became gradually my meditation technique, with pain and bondage letting me be in the present, while diving into the endorphin-driven sensations.

Then one day I started playing with someone that was enjoying both sides. It was through some wrestling and primal play when I realized that there was excitement in being the one to control, dominate and tie. The power of taking the control was indeed very exciting… even more when earned through a fight. And very different arousal.

I discovered the Dom side, finding real pleasure from controlling the sub’s trip, piloting the flight. I get the high from having the power, getting obedience and devotion from the slave… while getting physical pleasure as well. I love having my nipples played and my cock sucked from the slave kneeing naked in front of me.

I can play either side now – however only a pair of times in my life I have properly ‘switched’ with someone during a scene. If there is some primal/resistance play, I can make it with one person, as a fight for the control. However, my subspace comes from surrendering mind and body, and this is not compatible with struggle and resistance in wrestling play.

Switching works well for me when picking one single side during a whole scene or even the whole session. This allows to ‘take out’ easily the slave persona or the Master persona during a break. In wrestling and primal, the mindset is at 50/50 and this imbalances at some point. However, I find that in D/s or M/s, the imbalance is already there in the beginning of the scene, and trying to switch suddenly forces usually a break, becoming a downer.

But not always. Sometimes it’s about experimenting with someone you trust, just freeing yourself from the side you think you should be playing, and see how it works.

Once I tied a Sir on an amazing bondage chair full of straps, using some persuasion and my sweetest voice. “Wanna try how this amazing chair feels? You will not have many chances to try such an amazing furniture…” A pair of minutes after, the wolf revealed. The restrained Sir was immediately gagged. Excited but also with wild eyes showing revenge, he threatened of the consequences to come after in a muttered voice. I was already there so I made a short scene of bondage and electro torture.

I knew I was going to be hard punished after as never before, but… as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb. I went all he way. I was in full Dom mood, with the Brat side around as well… the Brat side equally excited and scared thinking “Well, you’ll really pay hard for this… let’s pull up the gauge“. Once I freed up the Sir, I just kneed and licked His boots, wishing that the scene would have been fulfilling and I would get some clemency. I didn’t. I got a one-minute long punishment like never in my life before. I loved it and I know it was His way of saying thank you.

For me, the foundations for being a Switch have been the different personas I have already developed before. Different personas, but one personality.

During years, I have been developing the slave persona. It has its own name, and disconnects from any thoughts related to family, work or real life. I don’t feel it like a role play of pretending to be someone, but more like embracing that mindset, and putting a name to tie it up.

I feel it like a containerization – and the key aspect for reaching it was through having played with protocols under a different name/identity, together with sexual-related conditioning while endorphins rushing from pleasure and subspace trips. When exploring the Master side, the persona of Sir Wolf started to develop in a very similar way, progressive – protocols followed from the Dom side and sexual-related conditioning again.

At play, I just dive into each persona. When switching, the vocabulary changes, each set of protocols comes into play, and I just embrace that side of me. Multiple sides, but it’s still me, same personality, no memory gaps, no dissociation.

And all this really came together last September when I attended Folsom Europe (Berlin) for the first time with my slave and my Master, who went to the event with his alpha (and husband) as well. I was really excited and happy, all my leather family in Berlin for Folsom! And I was going to enjoy some events and scenes as either Master or slave, or even both at the same time.

It was easy to switch any moment. I was serving my Master as a slave when required, while keeping my slave leashed. When addressing one or the other I was automatically switching to the proper communication. As said above, I strongly believe that the key aspect to allow such smooth play was having developed a communication based on protocol with each of them, in advance through 1-to-1 sessions. Similarly like the military hierarchy, I was quickly addressing each based on the established hierarchy.

The last play was in the fabulous Böse Buben, where a Corporal Punishment party was held on Saturday night, the big night after the Straßenfest day. We went there instead of going to the Big Pig, so we would enjoy St Andrew’s crosses, spanking benches and the stretching rack.

I played a lot as Sir, enjoying amazing time with my slave and also a gorgeous boy, Hugo. I flogged 2 people for the first time. At some point of the night, I realized I was very imbalanced. I needed flogging. I asked my Master for maintenance. My Master grinned and nodded.

He fixed me on the St Andrew’s cross. I was so happy, as I needed so much that flogging. My Dom side had been fulfilled that night, but my slave side was hungry of its Master, its Owner. But still, while I was being restrained in the cross, my Dom persona was still there – I was going to show my slave to serve on the cross, and I was going to do it with pride, I wanted to be a role model hoping he would learn from my experience, and maybe from any mistakes I would make.

It was one of the most memorable plays ever – a fine 2 Master play. Master Jose went into verbal conditioning while I was being beaten by my Master. The synchronization of both exceptional Sirs made my limits expand, and still today I’m dreaming of having sessions with both my Master and Master Jose.

That intense scene restored the balance. This is maybe the new aspect I’m facing now as a Switch – I need to fulfill both sides. Not necessarily in equal number of plays, but I just cannot renounce to either side.

And now a last question that I’ve been asked a pair of times – is now my dominance questioned at the eyes of my slave?

The concern that I’ve heard more times in regards of being a Sir that switches in front of the slave is about the image projected. Some people believe that if your sub/slave sees you on the floor licking boots or tortured and used, that sub/slave will loose pride for its Master, as seen as someone not dominant anymore.

From my side, I don’t think that this affects at all. Indeed I find that Sirs that are (or have been) subs/slaves before, tend to know better the effects of the techniques, and potential consequences and reactions. I’m not going into the discussion about Masters being better or not if having been slaves before, I just state the fact that those having played at the sub side have more insight in the feelings and sensations, as they have experimented it on their skin.

I know of subs that would find it undermining for the image of its Master, but for other subs it’s pride of serving someone that has gone already through the same journey. But regardless of what I believe, the question is – what does my slave (or my play partner at that moment) think?

So what I did was, having a conversation on this topic with my slave in advance. I wanted to know if such circumstances would affect, and I exposed potential situations. I think that rather than deciding if such situation can affect or not as a general statement, it’s better to just have the conversation and agree directly with the affected parts. And of course, after the party at Böse Buben, I brought up the topic again to know if it had been comfortable, exciting, or a downer. And it seems that my Dom image was not undermined at all, at the eyes of my slave. And this is what counts to me.

In a few weeks, new Switch scenes will come into play for 4 days of 24×7 play. Will it be 2 Doms and 1 slave? 2 slaves and 1 Dom? Will my Master humiliate me in front of my slave? How will my slave manage through the situations? What scenes are going to happen in the monthly Nimhneach party? And more important… when my Master leaves Dublin – will the slave get retaliation for having humiliated its Master or reward for the good service?

The answers, in 3 weeks.