Power exhibition in kinky events

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The trip to Berlin has been really refreshing, I’m fortunate for having attended Folsom Europe this 2021. The authorities had allowed the clubs to reopen literally one week before the event and the event took place with a nice offer of activities that had been organized in what I can imagine was a marathon of last minute work. Kudos for the organization, sincerely.

These events are a big part of the kinky scene dynamics, specially for those that embrace kink as a lifestyle. And as BDSM is all about dominance and control, power is exhibited in all possible forms, as a way to seduce.

So when thinking of the type of powers, I like the approach taken by this business related book in which states the 5 types of power that we all can have: position, personal, relationship, task and knowledge. I enjoy observing all these types of power in the BDSM scene.

Title holders exhibiting the big fancy bands over their garment, expensive uniforms with generous wallets in the pockets, a gathering of members of a club that move around as a pack unit, Instagramers with 10K+ followers, flashes from phones that capture the relationship with someone powerful, invitations to be part of a pack that will go out to the event or maybe if luckier, being invited to a private party hosted by someone that has a place in the middle of Schöneberg…

My attention however shifts to a flogging scene. The above cannot compete with the sudden crack of a flogger on the back of a sub. My cock reacts, the top is not wearing expensive leathers, but he is powerful, confident, charismatic… and I would love to be the sub at the end of that flogger. He has knowledge in driving a flogging scene, demonstrating mastery in executing the task.

In the excellent book Flogging from Joseph W. Bean , he describes brilliantly that despite networking and negotiating is everyone’s job (both Top and bottom), they are primarily protections for the bottom, for which reason bottoms are the ones to learn to negotiate and network to ensure they are getting a good play partner. On the other hand, job one for the Top is seducing partner’s consent. And such seduction starts in the power exhibition that kicks off all our fantasies.

As a masochist I am, a balanced mix of personal, task and knowledge power is what seduces my consent, as what I look for is impact play driven by technique. Other subs will find the eroticism and admiration towards the Dom with that big power coming from the reputation in the leather community. All powers have their own audience, so by understanding the type of power that seduces oneself, it becomes easier to look for what will match the trigger of own fantasies.

With so many different tastes and kinks, it’s going to be very difficult to know in an event who is into what, and at what extend of mastery, as hundreds of attendees will be there just showing their sexy side, and therefor exhibiting the powers related to presence. A flogger hanging from a side will not reveal if the guy is a good flogger, and the peak of the event is rarely the occasion for starting an interview.

So as most of people tend to do, it’s a good idea to plan in advance of the event who you are going to go with. It’s very common to arrive a few days before the big crowd arrives (e.g. arriving on a Tuesday or Wednesday) and ‘circulate’ around when there is still calm and space to get to know the one that seduces you more in deep, or even attending some of the parties organized before the weekend kicks off, or even attend a local munch in that week (more popular among the straight/pansexual community and many in FetLife).

Be sure that from Friday onwards, most dance cards will be full and it will be harder to find sessions. And if this is the case, don’t feel miserable – wear your best outfit, feel sexy, exhibit your own power and dance!

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