Table of contents

Types, the basics and main use cases

Generally speaking lubricants designed for sex are silicon-based, water-based or oil-based. Some are combination of silicon and water, or oil and silicon (hybrid), which tend to get the best of the 2 worlds. Having a few different ones always ready is a good idea, , as there might be some incompatibilities to be aware of, and that will condition our decision to go for one or the other in a session.

There are of course the cases when we might have exhausted reserves of lube and the hunger makes us pick things from the kitchen and toilet like butter, oil and even conditioner. To know more of those, check Alex Cheves’ blog post 30 Liquid Assets Every Gay Man Should Know. In this page I will just keep on commercial side of things, plus some ‘white creams’ some FFriends and me have been using for years.

Some things to know:

  • Oil-based lubricants stay long and are cheaper, but they break latex (e.g. condoms, rubber apparel, rubber masks…). If anticipating rubber friends coming over, NEVER have those around. Be aware that they might leave grease-type stains on fabric that might not be easy to clean.
  • Silicon-based lubricants are slippery like oil-based, are compatible with latex, but they will break silicon toys. They tend to be a bit more expensive. Be aware that they might leave stains on fabric that might not be easy to clean.
  • Water-based gels dry much quicker than oil-based and silicon-based. They are usually the cheapest but require adding more and more as it ‘dries’. On the other hand, they are easy to clean and don’t leave stains.
  • Many water-based gels are conductive as they have some salts (e.g. potassium chloride, sodium chloride, sodium carboxy methyl cellulose) and/or citric acid, which turns into an electrolyte when dissolved. As an electro fan, having one of those improves the experience and at the same time can be used for fucking or sounding.
  • It’s not uncommon to experience irritation with certain components commonly found in lubricants, like petroleum/petrolatum, propylene glycol and alcohols. I developed sensitivity through years of play, experiencing irritation or undesired heating with a lubricant that previously was working. It’s usually specific to a single component so it’s worth to look at composition and try different ones to isolate the issue. This ends saving lots of problems as it will be easier to identify lubricants that don’t have that component when traveling abroad, and prevent an amazing session to be ruined because the lubricant ends irritating
  • Caution with glycerin component – some claim that glycerin irritates, other say that it can facilitate yeast growth. From my experience, uncleaned glycerin under cock foreskin after TENS play resulted in sort of dry skin with a layer of lumps that didn’t look sexy in the following day. Nothing painful, but just in case, I learned to clean well rests of glycerin from cock and other intimate areas right after play
  • Numbing components are benzocaine, lidocaine and tetracaine – generally speaking tetracaine is used for sounding, benzocaine for cock to delay ejaculation and lidocaine for asshole. In the case of lidocaine, it allows longer play in fisting and anal play however the sexual sensations are reduced, remaining overall the ‘physical impact’ feeling of the activity. Also they might mask serious harm in fisting. Both benzocaine and lidocaine used on check might discourage oral sex as the receiving mouth would get also numbed. Check these components on numbing creams for awareness.
  • Always bring your own lubricant. But if you need to share creams, don’t do from the original jar – grab a good handful of cream from the source jar and put into bowls. Never share cream from a jar that has been directly used at play. Hepatitis C is transmited through blood in very small quantities – it’s not rear that blood from fisting ends on the cream jar, and the virus can survive well above 3 weeks and even months depending on the conditions.

With that said, I recommend having a few different lubes and bring them to the play, so depending on the situation it can be picked one or another. Just bringing some use cases:

  • Am I having silicone dildos around? Then I don’t use any silicone lube for fist or fuck, because if anytime someone gets excited by using that nice silicone dildo on the ass, it will be the beginning of toy’s ruin because the asshole will still have rests of silicone.
  • Am I planning a condom-based fuck? Am I wearing rubber outfit or rubber masks? Nothing with oil – silicone would be my first option, unless I would be thinking of playing with silicone toys in which case water-based would be definitely the option.
  • Am I going to have a butt plug stuck in the ass for some time? Water-based that is very liquid will be slippery first, and then dry quickly so the dildo will be firmly in its position and not fall that easily. With care not doing too much friction or the ass will get easily irritated.
  • Am I planning some sounding and/or eSTIM play? I’d have a sealed or mono-dose sacket water-based lubricant that is conductive. If sounding is in place, numbing cream used for medical sounding based on Tetracaine might be nice to have, available in pharmacies.
  • Am I having ahead a few days of play (e.g. Folsom)? Getting a numbing cream or directly Xylocain Gel (lidocaine) from the pharmacy might be interesting for the greedy holes.

The folks of SwissNavy have also their own checklist to choose the right lube. I find it a bit biased favoring the benefits of water-based without discussing much on the positive aspects of oil-based and silicon-based, but the quick checklist is worth to look at.

My list of lubricants

  • Zenn Anal & Fisting Gel: this has been my favorite one since discovered during Folsom 2023. My ass has developed some sensitivity to some creams used until now, so this one gave a great new sensation. This one didn’t stick at all neither dried too quickly. I went through long play and even with silicone toys. Note: As of writing this section, I still need to run some more long session testing to see how it evolves a session using only this one. This will be updated by end of 2023.
  • Boy Butter Original and Boy Butter H2O: the original is based on coconut oil which brings a very smooth warm feeling at play, compatible with silicone toys but not compatible with latex (condoms,…). The H2O version has worked very well for me for some time, and I liked because I can use condoms and use it with rubber outfit without risk. It’s very slippery so I would use them without adding silicone on top of it. Recently I felt the H2O version has started giving me some irritation, so I’m at the moment switching to Zenn Anal & Fisting Gel.
  • Aqueous Cream BP: for 20 years I have been using this, like quite a few FFriends I know. It’s quite common in United Kingdom and Ireland, so many get to know it when playing with FFriends from these islands. A 500g jar costs 5-10€ and easily found in any pharmacy. Let’s say it’s the cheap version of Boy Butter H2O but with some components that are intended for external use and not internal. Read more below on this one.
  • pjur Original Silicone-Based: I love this one as I use for a fuck, to dress up my rubber outfits, but also as complement for fisting on top of creams that are not that slippery. Compared to other silicone lubricants, it’s not expensive, and definitely cheaper to be used to dress up rubber. Just a few drops of course not to be too messy.
  • Swiss Navy or E-STIM Electrogel: I used to have water-based K-Y for fuck and sounding int he past, but at some point I started getting some irritation from it. Swiss Navy and E-STIM Electrogel have worked well as a replacement. Both have conductive components so can be used with TENS unit. I would choose one or the other for now depending on the cost of the bottle. At least in Europe, 100ml bottle is around 10-15€ whereas Swiss Navy is around 15-25€, and probably it’s the other way around in the United States.
  • Crisco: this was my early 2000s thing, with its characteristic smell. It’s very sticky which is good to generate that sticky layer that stays there for long, however in the beginning is not much slippery and it might give a sandy feeling. Quite common was to bring 30 seconds of microwave at medium, to make it slippery. If no heating is possible, the play as it advances will make it melt. Just the trick is to start slow and very gentle. What I love is that is free from alcohol and with very few components, so I’m not aware of any sensitivity development with Crisco. It also brings nostalgy with its smell. However, it’s messy. It’s difficult to clean and requires some ‘cleaning’ protocols to avoid ending with walls and door handles full of grease. Slings and furniture of some old darkrooms are probably greasy from Crisco used since last century. And Crisco’s just presence in a room will unavoidably destroy rubber outfits and gas masks.
  • J-Lube: this is a cheap lube used in veterinary that has been around for decades. It’s based on a polymer that dissolved with water generates a non-irritating slilppery. The mix gets lumps easily and requires quite a specific way to get it mixed properly, adding slowly the water while mixing among other tips. Check the J-Lube FAQ for best tips on how to do the best mixing, and the warning around the risk of having J-Lube in case of perforation. Nowadays there are also the X-Lube and K-Lube products that are easier and quicker to dissolve, and easier to clean, among other considerations. I don’t use them alone – in my opinion the risk is that they don’t have consistency to generate a ‘protection’ in the ass, and because they are very slippery I feel it can contribute to an accident because a quick move or a bad angle will not face any friction neither have a mass of cream to sort of soften the impact. Another risk in my opinion is that the quick dry, so suddenly an angle can generate certain friction that is suddenly released and followed by an area well lubricated that will just accumulate too much impulse and potentially puncture the intestine. I only use it after having started with Crisco, Acqueous Cream or similar cream that brings a first layuer of protection.
  • Crisco with J-Lube: the sandy and non-slippery aspect of Crisco has always been mitigated by adding JLube. There are many ‘recipes’ in Internet to get the perfect mix. I prefer to use Crisco as the base that protects the gut lining, and JLube added after a few minutes of warming as this ‘operates’ between the hand and the layer of Crisco. On the other hand, this is a horrible combination to clean after. If Crisco is messy, Crisco and J-Lube are hell to clean. Be ready with dish soap and grease remover (e.g. KH-7). J-Lube is dissolved with salt, so I know some people that use salt when cleaning stains in the playroom. For toys, dish soap works wonders.

Acqueous Cream

First appearance of Aqueous cream is in 1958, a skin cream suited to dry skin, very easy to find in pharmacies in United Kingdom and Ireland. It’s purpose is for external use, however for many years fisters from these islands have been using them. My best FFriend from Barcelona imported it from online stores for 20 years for himself and a few more FFriends.

It’s cheap, as 500g jar costs 10€ imported, 5-8€ directly bought in any UK or Ireland pharmacy. Remember that the boom of fetish scene transformed the market, and the broad offering in toys and creams that we have nowadays was not like it in the 90s and early 2000s.

Acqueous Cream is a mix of water with liquid paraffin and white paraffin, where paraffin is an oily liquid coming from refining crude oil. This oily substance is not fat, so it doesn’t break rubber. As liquids they are, to make a cream there are other ingredients added to emulsify and bring viscosity. And because they are intended to clean the skin due to its external use, they add cleansing components in the form of alcohol and/or sodium lauryl sulfate. Depending on the brand, there might be additional components to add fragance for example.

From the list of common ingredients, the main problem is usually sodium lauryl sulfate. It’s a mucosal irritant, so it’s not used for internal use lubricants, but only external creams. Because of it’s irritant property, it’s used for enemas for the management of constipation. As of 2017, European Medicines Agency doesn’t identify any risk of causing cancer.

I have tried different brands of Acqueous Cream, and what I can confirm is that I experienced irritation with one of them, but not with all. This is when I realized that the list of ingredietns matter, hence let me share my views here.

Boots Acqueous Cream contains water, liquid paraffin, white paraffin, chlorocresol, cetostearyl alccohol and sodium lauryl sulfate. Chlorocresol is antiseptic/aintifungig and can be used in intrauterine lubricants as antiseptic. It’s rare but it can generate anal irritation. Sodium lauryl sulfate is present and can generate irritation, and cetostearyl alcohol which is used as a viscosity controller can also irritate. In my experience, this is one of my favorite ones as I haven’t ever developed any reaction to this particular brand.

Ovelle Aqueous Cream only contains water, cetearyl alcohol, petrolatum, paraffine, sodium lauryl sulfate and phenoxyethanol. This one is available in quite a lot of pharmacies in Ireland (that are not Boots). It has similar consistency to Boots formula and works similarly. It’s slightly cheaper.

Nuage Aqueous Cream and XBC Aqueous Cream are usually found in Ireland’s low-cost stores like Mister Price and EuroGiant. Nuage one has a similar list of components to the Boots formula and it didn’t cause me any bad sensation. Is a bit more liquid and less creamy, so I doesn’t require to have added silicone or J-Lube on top of it. I’m more inclined for having Boots formula consistaency and adding J-Lube/silicone, but Nuage works well. XBC formula has some more products in the list, and in my case it generates a bit of irritation.

As I said above, Boy Butter H2O (and other H2O lubricants that are a white cream) are quite based on Aqueous Cream. Boy Butter indeed contains glycerin, glycol, parabens and glycerins, which I think is bringing quite the XBC formula and with some added ingredients like the parabens. There are different views around parabens and if they are body-safe, so some manufacturers are moving away from them. Based on my recent experiences, I think that the best option is to reduce the amount of components.

This is why I would recommend going for Nuage, Ovelle and Boots. However, if there is a party ahead and not having any lubricant available, I will still not have problems to get any Acqueous Cream from wherever I can.